The Office Premier. Awesome!

So we met Ronnie then she left and Ryan's back, at Pam's desk. Ronnie was blah. Things were at an all time sad. So, Ryan, the prodigal son returns. So I guess the apprentice becomes the master, and then the master becomes the managers' assistant. HAHA. Well you saw my new face and then we changed it, and then Ryan and I became buddies again. And although Jim sabotaged me with Holly I forgive him, cause we still best friends and I think she is still into me. I thought the weight loss initiative would be cool but in the end Kelly almost died and I had to stop the insanity, and that was one of the best meetings ever!! I love doing characters. And Mike Clump is one of my best!! I si, I si, I si, I sit on you! A little thing I learned from Mr. Adam Sandler is do characters. Also, I love wearing the sumo suit! But I couldn't lose all the fat by myself so we didn't get the vacation days. But we came close. Also Angela is still a Beeotch, and maybe it's because Phyllis is now Party Planning Manager or maybe it's because she's marrying Bernard. I don't know. And thanks to 'Dwigt' and Phyllis and their shenanigans, we have David Wallace breathing down our necks again. But what do you think about the ending. Pretty big huh? That's what she said! Oh, and it was Stans Birthday too. So, Yo, Happy B-day Stanley the Manley. Well, that was our summer. How was yours?

If Men Wrote The Rules

IF MEN WROTE THE RULES
Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.

It is in neither your best interest or ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.

Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women how can we know how pretty you are?

Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.

Women who wear Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary.

Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived
Forward it like it's hotttt!

Am I Steve Carell?

Am I Steve Carell? No, but I get mistaken for him all the time. No hard feelings. That's what she said! No really, people always say, "Are you Steve Carell?" and I know we look a lot alike, but for my money I think my face is a little bit more symmetrical than his. I bet if he came to Scranton people would stop him and say, "Hey aren't you that Dunder Mifflin Regional Manager, Michael Scott?" People who know me. Mr. Carell is a fantastic entertainer, a great comedian, a poet really. I enjoy his films. What he does in Hollywood, I do here in Scranton, same thing. He has the same look and comedic timing that has taken me up the corporate ladder, only he's taken a different path, one that has lead him to fame and fortune on the silver screen. But who needs that? Not me, that's who. Actors are driven by a need to be liked. I don't share that need, not like my need to be praised. I am not Steve Carell I'm just good old Michael Scott. I'm glad we were able to put that to bed, that's what she said.

Memo 10-01-08

FROM: Michael Scott, Regional Manager, Scranton Branch


TO: All Dunder Mifflin Scranton Employees

SUBJECT: Hallway Shenanigans.

Vance Refrigeration, W.B. Jones Heating and Air and the Scranton Office Park Security have requested that all lunch hour Hallway Flonkerton tournaments come to a stop. They have complained that it's interfering with their businesses. Apparently there's also a safety issue, and we could lose our office accident insurance. I apologize, but I guess in this day and age a little harmless team building exercises are frowned upon. This isn't me saying this, it's them: but all future Office Olympics are hereby cancelled. And you can thank Bob Vance for that.


Regards,
Michael Scott, Dunder Mifflin Regional Manager

A Bit About Me Michael Scott

My name is Michael Scott. I have been working at Dunder Mifflin Paper Company Inc., Scranton Branch for 15 years the last 7 as Regional Manager. Scranton is my Kingdom. I rule this playground, These people are my posse. They're my family. We are like a family. What's the most important part of business? The people. The people are what matter the most in business. And People say I am the best boss. They go, "God, I have never worked at a place like this before. You're hilarious, and you get the best out of us."

I think I'm a role model here at Scranton. I think I garner people's respect. Somebody asked me once, "Who do you respect?" Heros of mine would be, Bob Hope...Abraham Lincoln Definitely, Bono, and probably God, would be the 4th one. I just think all those people really helped the world in so many ways that it's really beyond words. It's really incalcucalable.

So to sum me up I'd say I work hard, I play hard. Sometimes I play hard when I should be working hard. I guess the atmosphere I have created in Scranton is that I'm a friend first and a boss second. Probably an entertainer third. Just like Bob Hope, or Bill Clinton.

I guess that's Michael Scott in a Nut Shell. (That's what she said!)